Thursday, November 7, 2013

Shark in the Ocean & Bats in the Sky (3rd installment)

Shark in the Ocean & Bats in the Sky (3rd installment)
August 2013; Vegan Negative Level 4 (More Lame!)

Coffee Date #2:

Shark and I meet at the Starbucks where we had our first coffee date. This time, I ran a few minutes behind. He did not have his nose in a book. By this time, after all of the conversations over the weekend and the I want to fill up the 3 hours I have free in between social engagements; I’m a little more standoffish….

He orders his black coffee and cream and I order my vanilla soy latte. Shark again pokes fun at how complicated my drink is, and I just have that feeling of déjà vu… I lead the conversation off with; “I’m not feeling the label “Veggie””. He doesn't see what’s wrong with it, and the fact that I have to explain it, makes me even more standoffish. We go sit outside at the same table, and we're making conversation. Here it comes, that moment when you know that one isn't as understanding of your lifestyle as they say (in fact, no clue!).

He brings up the question (which gives him his name). If you are swimming in the ocean and a shark is going to attack you, but you have a spear. Will you use the spear to save yourself from the shark? (I'm 34 years old-yes, real age. I've never been asked that in all of the years of being vegetarian, going vegan or on a date. WTH?! For those who love me. You know, I don’t go to the beach. I don’t go swimming, and in fact, will NOT get into the water. So, this question is insane to ask someone.) I play along, and say that if it’s my time, it’s my time and leave it that. In the rest of the conversation throughout the evening, he still brings up the shark question. Not letting it go, I cut the coffee date short after watching the bats take over the evening sky. He brings me bag full of products that his company sells. I look at it and, he’s saying don't tell me. (Yes. All the items that he sells test on animals and use chemicals that I haven’t used in years, etc. He is clueless and I'm not being a snob, I just know that he will NEVER get it.)

I send him a text saying “I'm not feeling the connection. Good luck in your search.” His response is “It must be hard to make a connection, due to my lifestyle.”

Shark in the Ocean & Bats in the Sky (2nd installment)

Shark in the Ocean & Bats in the Sky (2nd installment)
August 2013; Vegan Negative Level 2.5 (Going down!)

Conversations to get to the second date:

Shark calls and sends text messages, and I continue to flirt. “I can't wait to see you again” Shark tells me. “Ask me out for a second date, make time.” It’s not really that difficult, you like a girl, and you really want to see her again. You make time for her, that simple. Shark called me up over the weekend and wants to get together. I say “I can be ready by 3pm.” “Well, I've got plans to hang out with my friends at that time.” is his response. For me, really it’s not that big of a deal. Either you want to see me again and you make time, or you don’t. Simple, but the “I've got 3 hours to kill between the rest of my social life”. I’m worth more than that…

Shark and I continue to send text messages throughout a week time frame. (Here is where my social consciousness comes into play. I’m on Credo Mobile, a great cell network that allows me to vote on how they donate funds. Not so great when it comes to their cell plans. A girl only has “x” amount of text messages and “x” of mobile day minutes. It’s never been a problem before, but guys just like to send a smiley face 6 times a day and there are 7 days a week-quickly uses up your text messages.) I gently let him know that I have 1000 text messages to get me through the month and the 6 smiley faces need to not be so frequent. That turns into a can of worms that was way too soon to get into. So, he starts to send me e-mails. In these e-mails Shark asks me “What do people call you?” I answer “Jackie or Jacqueline” not thinking anything of it. He says “I'm going to call you Veggie.” This is a label that you give a friend, not someone that you want to date.

He tells me “I think your lifestyle is way too expensive for where you are in your life.” (That’s my choice; I'm not looking for someone to pay my bills. I’m looking for someone to share my life with.) He tells me "You need to be on Facebook, so that way you can get messages for free from your friends." (I don't need to be on Facebook for anything except for The Compassionate Vegan. My friends know how to get a hold of me. I'm good on that part.)
A girl does like to collect horrible dating stories to share with her friends (and readers). So, I continue to chat for a few more conversations and we even get to Coffee Date #2.

Shark in the Ocean & Bats in the Sky (1st installment)

Shark in the Ocean & Bats in the Sky (1st installment)
August 2013; Vegan Negative Level 1 (Less Lame!)

Coffee Date #1:

Shark sends me two e-mails from one of the dating sites that I’m on. Honestly, I didn't receive one of them, since you can't check your e-mails until you pay the fees. In our e-mails back and forth to each other, we flirt and have great chemistry. In one of the first ones, he mentions that he has come to love vegetarian food and that he respects my lifestyle. (Sounds promising, right? I thought so, too.)

Shark is the first person that I went on a date after my breakup with Bruce. On our first coffee date (at Starbucks), he was late. He did let me know that he had forgotten something at home and that he was going to be late. I let him know that I would have my nose in a book. (You see a girl always has to be prepared to entertain herself.) Shark asked “Nose in a book?”… “Why? Yes, I like to read. I'll see you when you get here” is my response.

Shark buys a coffee black and adds some cream; I get a soy vanilla latte. He starts to poke fun at how complicated my drink is. I let him in on a secret…. Friends don't let friends drink Starbucks. (I LOVE coffee, in fact I feel like it’s nectar of the gods that one gets to drink in the morning. I like it black with a little bit of sugar. However, Starbucks burns their beans and makes the coffee bitter. So, that’s when a girl has to get her girly coffee.) He continues to poke fun, which makes me think that he is the little boy on the playground pulling girls’ hair because he likes her. I'll play along.

Shark and I continue to chat, flirting and getting to know each other. The sun begins to set, and two colonies of bats begin to emerge into the darkening sky. A magical moment and we end the first date full of potential. (According to Bat for Lashes: “Never fall in love with potential”.)

The Top 5 Worst Dating Pick Up Lines (Yes, these are real!)

The Top 5 Worst Dating Pick Up Lines (Yes, these are real!)

So, in my profile I have it written that I need someone to be strong enough to tell me that I’m being irrational at times and then move on. Because, let’s face it, I’m a woman and there are moments when it happens.

The Rancher in Texas-“Stop being irrational and eat a steak. Let’s go out for dinner.”

The Joker-“Give a dog a bone, really, vegan dog food! Look, I'm just joking… It’s funny!”

The “Vegan”-“I think you're hot, and I really want to hump your leg.”

The Business Man-“Let’s have sex and sushi.” I hardly know you. “Adam and Eve didn't know each other.”

The Neighbor-“Hey there sugar tits, want to make out?”